 I
spent a couple days several months ago prowling around house, trying
to sight some of the native wildlife, and it was a huge success. I
have my findings posted on this page. I donned a disguise, gloves, and
a hat, and began my search. Here we have Sage practicing his
oratory skills, in one of the less sinister pictures. Although he had
no audience, he was still preaching away on the book of Psalms. |
 Once again, I found Sage (also fondly called The
Crunchable Pig) practicing for the ministry. This time he was at
his makeshift podium. Although he hadn’t managed to get his
bible up there when I appeared, he was still squeaking loudly. |
  This
is where Sage starts showing his darker side. I caught Sage emerging
from one of his many escape tunnels into his Lair. He has the house
networked with secret tunnels and passageways, which helps in his evil
deeds. Notice the
startled expression that the flash evicted. Although I attempted to
entice him with a carrot, you can see him quickly backing away in fear
in the second picture (later, the carrot was gone; eaten or cached).
|
 Once
again Sage is up to his many devious plots. Here I found him pilfering
from the Clementine basket. The picture is a little blurred because he
was so enraged at being sighted while out of his cute but slightly
bewildered façade that he charged me, and I had to save the other
incriminating evidence from a certain destruction at his paws. And I
had to make sure I wasn’t injured as well. |
 A
couple days later I snuck down into Sage’s Lair, only to find that
he and Bunny were plotting a most devious plan! Only too soon would I
find out the sad consequences of their mischievous activities. They
then split up, Sage going one way, Cinder going the other. |
 I
followed Bun Bun to see what see what she was up to, and was
astonished at her efficiency and silence in making for her destination
— a real professional at this kind of work. Here she is looking
around a corner, before going in for her prize. |
 Here
we see the first part of their plan, but the worst part is yet to
come. After she got what she came for, she went to her own Lair and
busily devoured an ill–gotten food ration. |
 Now
we see the full unfortunate consequences of their actions. I searched
and searched for Sage, but he was nowhere to be found. I finally went
back to his Lair, and there he was. Sage had stolen a twenty, his
arch–nemesis, and was in the process of destroying it — knowing
full well what great anger (along with a prison sentence for a federal
offence) it would cause if found out. |
 Bunny
appeared shortly after I arrived (don’t forget, I was still hiding
from them), and reported to Sage that her part went without a hitch.
After spending all that time doing dastardly deeds, they decided to
take a break and get some rest in Sage’s Lair. Sage was suffering
slightly from indigestion because of the green ink in the twenty. |
|
 Because
Sage couldn’t rest, he made a pitiful stab at wrestling Cinder to
the ground. She didn’t quite realize that he was actually attempting
anything that involved her, and he eventually gave up with great
frustration.
|
 By
this time, it was getting late, so Cinder went back to the safety of
her Lair before any humans arrived back from their outing, and noticed
the suspicious activity of the duo. See the toy we had given her to
placate her? This is how she repays us. |
 I
then hung up my camera and went to hold Sage to see if he knew about
my own secret activities, but he appeared as cute and bewildered as
usual, and I think that he only saw me during the Clementine incident
and when he emerged from his escape tunnel, but between my holding a
camera at my face, and his poor vision, he didn’t realize who it was
— I hope. Recently, though, I've been hearing strange banging in the
workshop side of the basement, and I fear something more devious is
being planned. Something, perhaps, in revenge for this publication... |
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